Porcelain is not Good Enough for an Anderson
by MinervaEvenstar
Summary: When Blaine first introduced Kurt to his mother, things did not go well, but nothing could deter Blaine's affection. Story inspired by an interview where Colfer (Kurt) said to Criss (Blaine) that he thought it would have been fun to do a plot 'where your mom HATED me and thought I was not good enough for her son.'


**Author:** MinervaEvenstar

 **Summary:** When Blaine first introduced Kurt to his mother, things did not go well, but nothing could deter Blaine's affection. Story inspired by an interview where Colfer (Kurt) said to Criss (Blaine) that he thought it would have been fun to do a plot 'where your mom HATED me and thought I was not good enough for her son.'

 **Rating:** Teen

 **Genres:** Romance, family, drama, fluff

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own _Glee_. Don't sue me, and – above all in the _Glee_ -verse – don't Sue me!

 **Note:** This story is intended to be canon compliant, but may unintentionally contradict information revealed about the Anderson family in later seasons because I never watched beyond season 3 season of _Glee_.

 **Porcelain is not Good Enough for an Anderson**

After the Warblers' rehearsal of an uninteresting medley they would be singing at a boring nursing home (not that Kurt was bitter about losing at Regionals or anything), Blaine and Kurt walked hand in hand through Dalton's courtyard. Kurt stared sappily at Blaine, certain his eyes resembled cartoon hearts, before bringing up a topic he had wanted to breach for days.

"You've been to my house and met my family loads of times. Don't you think it's time I met yours?" Kurt's smile was a touch mischievous. "After all, you dealt admirably well with my stepbrother's musical armpits and my dad interrogating you about the purity of your 'intentions' towards me, so it's only fair I suffer through the same thing for you."

Blaine shook his head with a grin. "I really like your family."

"So do I – my dad is the best person in my life - but they're all embarrassing sometimes." He reconsidered. "Okay, Carole isn't provided she lets me go shopping with her to prevent her from making disastrous fashion choices."

Blaine laughed. "I know 'meeting the parents' is an important step for a lot of people in their relationships, but trust me, Kurt; it really doesn't matter to me."

Kurt stopped walking to stare at Blaine seriously, forcing Blaine to do the same unless he wanted to keep strolling without him. "Are you worried about me finding out about your past, or seeing that your bedroom still has Power Rangers wallpaper?"

"No," Blaine chuckled.

"Good, because I liked the Power Rangers too. Well, I liked their costumes. I was Lisa for Halloween when I was four."

"The yellow one?"

"Yes."

"I'm sure you looked awesome."

"Oh, I did."

"I think I let my brother talk me into being Woodstock to his Snoopy when I was that age, so I wore a yellow costume too."

"So you have a brother?"

Kurt's interest caused Blaine's smile to disappear for the first time that day. "Yeah," he muttered.

"Older or younger?"

"Older," was Blaine's short reply.

"Do you have other siblings?"

"No."

"Can I meet him?"

"He moved out of state, and almost never visits, so I doubt it," he replied sourly. "Look, can we talk about something else? Anything else?"

Kurt sensed the depth of Blaine's discomfort and obliged: "Global warming?"

The shorter boy latched onto the topic gratefully. "It's bad news for polar bears."

"Coca Cola will need a new mascot if it keeps up." Kurt agreed with a mournful headshake.

"It probably isn't good news for baby penguins either."

Kurt's mouth fell open comically as he stared at Blaine's good-natured smirk, knowing the other was teasing him. "Why, Blaine Warbler, you are terrible!" He went to playfully swat at Blaine's chest, but Blaine caught the hand and brought it to his lips in a dorky and chivalrous gesture that left Kurt giddy.

"And YOU are adorable," retorted Blaine.

"Mmm, nice save." Then they were kissing. It was their fourth kiss (Yes, Kurt was definitely counting.) and each one felt better than the last. This time, Kurt's spine tingled and his toes curled in his shoes. That's why Kurt felt incredibly stupid for ruining the moment by blurting out "Are you ashamed of me?" when they came up for air.

"What? No! God, Kurt, why would you think that?" Blaine's shock was apparently genuine.

Kurt reluctantly elaborated, "Because you won't introduce me to your family. If you aren't worried that they'll embarrass you in front of me, then you must be worried I'll embarrass you in front of them."

"No, it's nothing like that. It's just…" Blaine sighed and looked around for a seat. "Do you mind if we sit down? It's kind of a long story." Kurt immediately led him over to the nearest bench and they sat so close that their knees touched. "You know that my dad did a lot of so-called 'masculine' activities in order to 'bond' with me – fixing cars, watching football games, racing quads – in hopes of turning me straight. What you don't know is that my mom objected to it, telling him it wasn't realistic or fair. I appreciated that. He denied his motives, but the truth came out when I did."

"When you came out as gay publicly?" Kurt asked for clarification.

"Yeah. Remember I told you I got taunted at school, and the teachers were sympathetic even though they were basically useless?"

Kurt nodded, listening intently.

"Well, my dad wasn't sympathetic. He said…" Blaine trailed off, looking at the ground. Kurt put his hand on Blaine's shoulder, trying to offer reassurance through the thick Dalton blazer. It seemed to work because Blaine looked up again and continued, "He said, not that I deserved to be bullied, but that maybe it taught me the lesson he'd been trying to; that the world wasn't friendly towards gay kids, and if I didn't want to be mistreated, then I should 'be like everyone else.'"

Kurt's free hand flew to his mouth as he gasped, "He didn't?"

"He did." Blaine sighed resignedly. "He and Mom had a big screaming match, and Mom must've won eventually because they let me transfer here. They kept arguing after my transfer, though. Dad accused Mom of coddling me and not letting me 'become a man' because I'm the youngest, her baby. She accused him of being a homophobe. Looking back on it, they both had a point. Anyway," he exhaled deeply, "last year Dad moved out and this year they officially got divorced. Twenty-two years of marriage fell apart and it's my fault."

"Blaine," Kurt said urgently. "It is NOT your fault. I know a lot of kids with divorced parents feel that way, but no child is responsible for adults' relationships."

"They were fighting _about me_ , Kurt."

"Listen to me." Kurt gently cupped Blaine's face to ensure he paid full attention. "Your parents were no longer compatible – maybe they were never a good match in the first place - and they were fighting about _many things_. Like most incompatible parents, one of the things they disagreed upon was how to raise their kids. It's normal, and nothing you should feel guilty over. You're an amazing person, Blaine; you must know in your heart that you would never intentionally do anything to upset someone else. Don't blame yourself for things totally out of your control."

Blaine covered Kurt's hands with his own. "I'm so glad I met you."

"Me too." The fifth kiss was the shortest so far, but Kurt nonetheless felt light-headed as Blaine interlocked their fingers and pulled him to his feet so they could continue their romantic walk.

It was summer before Kurt was finally invited to Blaine's house. Kurt wasn't surprised at the abode's massive size or posh furnishings. Unlike Kurt's family, Blaine's parents had easily been able to afford Dalton's high tuition, which meant they had money. The thing that did surprise Kurt was the lack of…hominess. There was no mail strewn on the tables, coats draped on the backs of chairs, or dishes in the sink. The place was beautiful, but felt like a house on display on the market rather than a home an actual family currently lived in.

"Mom, I'm home." Blaine's voice echoed in the large living space.

"Hi, Honey, I was just on my way out. I've got dinner with a client." A tanned-skinned woman came down the stairs and approached the door Blaine and Kurt had used to enter. She wore a pencil skirt and matching blazer with low-heeled shoes on her feet and a tight, neat bun of dark curls upon her head. There was no doubt where Blaine got his looks. Kurt approved of her smart businesswoman style. Unfortunately, the woman scrutinized his own outfit equally as closely and didn't appear to like the feathered cap and rhinestone belt she saw. Didn't she know green was in this season? Her frown was the most prominent when her gaze fell on their clasped hands.

"This is Kurt. Kurt, this is my mom."

Pleasantly, Kurt extended his unoccupied hand to shake. "How do you do?"

She looked at Kurt's moisturized, manicured hand like it had crawled out of the sewers Brittany S. Pierce had spent the previous summer lost in. "I was better a minute ago."

"Oh." Kurt awkwardly lowered his hand.

"What's wrong?" Blaine asked, bewildered.

"This is the Kurt you told Coop about, the one you've been dating, the one you like so much that you went to his _prom_ with him even after the fiasco at your last school?" Her nose wrinkled in distaste.

"Yesss," Blaine drew out the word cautiously, uncertain of what was causing his mother's ire.

"I thought you liked men, Blaine." Her tone was cool. "I supported you against your father so someday you could be happily married to a man if the godforsaken government ever legalized it."

"I appreciate that, and I am gay. _We're_ gay." He gestured between Kurt and himself. "We're both dudes that like other guys."

"Oh, please, dearest, this isn't a _man_." She rolled her eyes in Kurt's direction. "If you're dating a boy like this, then you may as well be dating a girl."

Kurt's mouth dropped open.

Blaine spoke through gritted teeth, struggling to maintain civility. "Mom, you're being rude."

"I'm being honest. You can do better than this." She gestured at Kurt in disgust. "If this is who you want for your first boyfriend because you would rather be _gradual_ in the process of dating men, _actual_ men, then fine. I accept that my Blainey is on the shorter side and might be too intimidated to aim high on his first try. Next time, though, I expect you to bring home someone more like a Disney prince or superhero, and less like a china doll that a little girl dropped in her art supply kit."

"That-"

A hand holding up car keys forestalled Blaine's retort. "I'm going to be late. We can talk when I get home in a few hours." She glanced between them appraisingly. "I trust you know to use the credit card to order dinner so you don't make a mess of the kitchen, and that you know to use protection so you don't make a mess of yourselves."

Without waiting for a response, not that the flabbergasted boys would have given her one, she spun on her expensive heel and exited.

The couple stood in stunned silence until Kurt observed sarcastically, "That went well."

Kurt's voice must have opened a dam inside of Blaine because he gushed in a rush, "Kurt, I am SO sorry. She shouldn't have said those things. She's doesn't know what she's talking about. I'll try to get her to understand, but if she doesn't, then you should know that her opinion would never change how I feel about you and-"

"Blaine," Kurt interrupted, managing to sound fond and superior simultaneously, "you're babbling."

"Right, sorry. Look, do you want to go somewhere else? I would completely understand if you didn't want to be here anymore after that."

"Absolutely not." Kurt untwined their fingers just so he could link his arm through Blaine's with a simper. "I've been waiting forever to get a tour of the place where you grew up. You're not getting out of it just because you're mom ruined our little fairy tale."

"Fairy tale?" asked Blaine, amused.

"You have to admit," Kurt noted as Blaine led him through the building, "it is a bit too perfect that I get along with the Warblers, and you click with my friends at McKinley, and you actually have more stuff in common with my dad than I do. It would almost be boring if your mother liked me right away."

Blaine snorted, "Seriously?"

"Totally." Despite his earlier curiosity, it was easy for Kurt to focus on the conversation rather than their surroundings. The décor was impersonal in solid, neutral shades. Most disconcertingly, only copies of bland sketches and paintings were showcased on the walls; there were no photographs in sight. Clearly, no details about his handsome boyfriend's background or tastes could be garnered from such hollow-feeling spaces. "Her disdainful misconception that I am a glittery incubus keeps things interesting."

"I'm glad you can be so positive." He beamed at his partner. "Well, if we skip the bedrooms Mom uses and my brother stays in when he visits, then…this is the last stop." He opened an unadorned door on the second floor.

Blaine's bedroom was perfectly tidy, but its resemblance to the rest of the lifeless house stopped there. The walls were striped in black and green, and the blanket on the queen-sized bed was a red and pale gray plaid. Did it match? Decidedly not. Did Kurt let out a relieved breath he didn't realize he had been holding upon viewing it? Without question. This was the first room to possess details which alluded to the personality of its occupant. In this case, it exhibited Blaine's interest in patterns and colors, which inevitably brought to mind the variety of cute, gentlemanly bow-ties he wore. Kurt had enjoyed seeing the accessories throughout the summer since Blaine was out of his Dalton uniform, and appreciated that they both had a borderline unhealthy obsession with neckwear, though his own passion lay in the scarf department.

Two matching nightstands sat on either side of the bed. The one on the left held the stone bust of someone famous Kurt would later kick himself for not being able to name. The polished brown dresser across from the bed proudly displayed trophies for singing and boxing. Two black bookcases contained hardcover novels, musical albums, and top-of-the-line speakers. A television stand had both a new flatscreen and models of antique cars. One wall had a framed map of an obviously-fictional place, such as Middle-Earth or somewhere else endearingly nerdy. The ceiling vaunted shiny posters of musicians both old and modern.

Best of all, there were photographs that the fashionista gaited towards in order to examine more closely. There was one in a wooden mount behind the computer desk, a black-rimmed collage on the wall containing over a half-dozen pictures, and a sole image with a tasteful silver border propped up on the right nightstand to face the bed. The countertenor examined the visions more closely: There were some of Blaine's Warbler friends Kurt had met, and others that were people Kurt assumed to be Blaine's friends from his former school due to their similar ages. The one beside the bed, however, was a black-and-white image of Kurt in a suit. He'd texted the picture to Blaine over a month ago as a joke when they were discussing old films, and the younger teen must have uploaded it to his computer in order to print and frame it. Kurt's heart swelled in his chest with the knowledge that he meant so much to Blaine, but he couldn't help but notice there was not a single familial shot in here either.

Kurt commented, "I love that your room isn't perfect in the creepy Stepford Wives way, like the rest of the place, but a Katy Perry poster?" he teased with a jaunty head-tilt towards the ceiling. "Really?"

Blaine gave a rueful grin. "My dad was happy when I got that. I think he hoped having a picture of a semi-naked young woman on a cloud meant I was attracted to her rather than a fan of her music."

"No family photos anywhere," remarked Kurt delicately. "You being your mother's precious baby boy and all, I expected collages of your baby teeth, and maybe even a fingerpainting you did in kindergarten _still on the fridge_."

Blaine laughed, though the mirth swiftly faded from his face. "Mom loves me and my brother. I guess Dad does too even though I'm a disappointment to him, but…" He shrugged. "My family isn't-" He searched for the word "- _demonstrative,_ like yours, Kurt. We don't get sentimental, or have family dinners, or even hug usually. They're nice overall, and I love them because they're the only family I've got, but they're sort of…cold."

Kurt knew Blaine wouldn't want pity and took a few seconds to think about what to say. "I find that upsetting, but I'm sure the rest of Ohio is grateful." He tucked his hands neatly behind his back and glided closer to his perplexed boyfriend. "If you were able to become such a sweetheart without role models, then think about what you would be like if you had them. The entire state would be in a constant heat wave from your warmth. Carole's autumn flowers wouldn't have a chance at survival."

"You are ridiculous." Blaine smiled. "And I love you."

Kurt glowed, as he never tired of hearing that. "Good because I am part of your family now, and I am going to give you all of the sentimentality and hugs you can handle."

Blaine's hands rested on Kurt's hips and he whispered, "I hope so." Kurt had indulged in many fantasies of finally being in Blaine's bedroom, and he wasn't going to allow some rude middle-aged shrew ruin his opportunity to enact at least one of them. He closed the distance between them and took time to prove to Blaine that he was loved.


End file.
